Not A Hero: A Bad Boy Marine Romance Read online

  He was doing great at his new job, even though he didn’t particularly like the long commute every day. Coming home to spend the evening with his dad, and his nights with Zoe, was all the reward he needed to make it worth it.

  On weekends, when another nurse took over, he and Zoe spent all day together out of the house. The previous weekend, they’d gone hiking and discovered sex against a tree was pretty fan-fucking-tastic.

  And today at the fair—where the threat of being discovered had been so real. Damn. She was up for anything, and he wanted everything—he wanted her.

  He was actually happy. And a town hero.

  What a fucking joke.

  “Miles?” The source of his newfound happiness called out to him from the start of the dock.

  He waved to Zoe, but continued to the end before sitting down on the wood and pulling off his shoes and socks. Rolling up his pants, he dropped his legs over the edge and let his feet skim the surface of the cool water and dip under its surface.

  He was hoping a minute in the moon, the sereneness of the lake at night, would help ease his anxieties, his guilt, his shame. Something needed to wash it away. Something needed to take these burdens from him, because he didn’t know how to do it on his own. He didn’t know if he even deserved that.

  “Last time we were out here together, we were naked,” Zoe said, a flirtatious hint in her tone as she sat down next to him and slipped her sandals off.

  Placing them behind her, she pulled her skirt up past her knees and joined him in dangling her feet above the water. While his were able to fully submerge, her toes barely touched the top, and only if she pointed them.

  He smiled a little at the sight.

  “Um, hello?”

  Miles looked over at her, noticing she’d put up her hair since they returned from the fair and it hung behind her in a loose, thick braid. “What?”

  “I just said the word ‘naked’, and you barely even noticed.” She looked slightly perturbed as she crossed her arms over her chest. “Normally, you’d be all over me by now.”

  Miles grinned, looking back out across the water. “I’m distracted, I guess.”

  She was quiet for a moment, dropping her arms back down and resting a hand on his thigh. Small circular traces of her fingers through his jeans would normally wake a very specific part of himself, but right now it only felt comforting and sweet, making him almost vulnerable in a way.

  He leaned back, his hands against the dock propping him up.

  “It’s the award, isn’t it?”

  Miles didn’t look at her. He didn’t move anything but his feet trailing through the water.

  “I know it bothers you to be called a hero,” she continued. “But the town is only trying to show their appreciation. They meant well. You went to war—you fought for our freedom. It all sounds pretty heroic to me.”

  He still said nothing. What could he say without inviting her into his hell?

  Rotating sideways on the dock, Zoe lifted her feet and sat cross-legged facing his side. She trailed her fingers through his hair, and he closed his eyes at the calming motion.

  “What are you ashamed of, Miles?” she whispered. “Why don’t you think you’re a hero?”

  He averted his eyes, staring out at the water instead. Her words were soft, and definitely not filled with judgment, but she had just shoved a scalding poker into the most painful place in his heart.

  “What makes you think I have something to be ashamed of?” he countered, embarrassment heating his cheeks.

  Zoe gave a small shrug, her fingers trailing down his arm to his hand. She picked it up and held it between hers, lifting his palm to her cheek and resting her face against him. She laid a small kiss next to his thumb, then dropped his hand to her lap, still holding it in both of hers. “I think because you have the same look on your face I once had on mine.”

  Miles finally looked at her. “What would you ever have to be ashamed of?”

  She seemed to prickle slightly at the question, and he wished he’d phrased it a bit more gently, but she answered anyway.

  “I got married because I became pregnant. Our parents both pushed us to make things official…for the baby’s sake. A courthouse marriage later, and I was tied to a man I wasn’t even sure I liked anymore. We’d been dating a few months, and the longer we were together, the more I could see his drinking was becoming a problem. It was small things at first—grabbing me too hard, shoving me aside.”

  She paused for a moment, swallowing hard as she looked past him and out onto the lake. He squeezed her hand in his, his heart already aching for what he knew could only be a sad conclusion to her story.

  “Despite my shitty love life, I was excited to be a mom. Really, really excited.” She played with her necklace with one hand, a nostalgic expression on her face. “And as Rusty’s drinking got worse, and my belly got bigger, I realized his violent outbursts weren’t just harming me anymore. One night he got so drunk, he knocked me in the face—I had a black eye for over a week. That was it for me. No more. Filed for divorce the next day.”

  “Good,” Miles said, glad she’d been strong enough to leave such a horrible man behind. But now all he was wondering was where her child was.

  “Yeah, I thought so too,” she said with a happy sigh. “I finally felt free.”

  Miles leaned over and kissed her gently one time. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of in that story, Zoe. You did the right thing.”

  “Maybe, but that choice cost me more than I was willing to pay. That’s where the shame part comes in.” She tucked her knees to her chest, hugging her arms around them as her green eyes seemed miles away. “Rusty didn’t take the news of the divorce well. He found me at my parent’s house—waited until they’d left for church. Six months pregnant, he knocked me to the ground and kicked me until I knew she was gone.”

  Miles froze, his limbs turning to fire as rage bubbled up in his chest. Grinding his teeth, his jaw tight, he shook his head. She was quiet, and he started to say something at least three different times, but words escaped him.

  Finally, she continued. “I blamed myself for the longest time—if I’d just stayed, he wouldn’t have been angry, or why didn’t I fight harder, or why didn’t I hide, or why didn’t I know he’d…why didn’t I protect my baby?” Her throat caught on her words and she sniffed. “So believe me when I say I know what shame looks like.”

  “Zoe, no.” Miles reached for her, pulling her onto his lap and letting her curl into his chest as he held her tight. “None of that—absolutely none—is your fault. He’s the monster, and the blame lies solely on him.”

  He felt her shake with a few soft cries, a sniffle sound coming from her face buried in his shirt. “You’re right,” she said. “And it took me a long time, and a lot of therapy, to figure that out. It is all his fault, and I’ll never forgive him. I’ll never forgive him for killing my child.”

  “Good.” Miles nodded, trying to quell the anger inside him. “He doesn’t deserve it.”

  Something nagged at him—something familiar—but soft cries interrupted his thoughts. She needed him, she needed to know this wasn’t her fault. Stroking her hair gently, he kissed the top of her head. They stayed that way for a few minutes before she reached up, wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed him on the lips.

  Her cheeks were wet, and he wiped them dry as his tongue pushed into her mouth and she moaned against him. Scooting the both of them back from the edge of the dock, he laid her out gently across the wood before rolling on top of her, taking care not to crush her with his weight. His anger at Zoe’s ex-husband dissipated, as warmth and comfort took over.

  “Zoe, I’m so sorry you ever had to go through that,” he whispered as she kissed a line down his jaw to his neck, her fingers undoing the buttons on the front of his shirt.

  He wanted to say more. He wanted to say how strong he thought she was. How beautiful she was under the moonlight, her heart open and vulnerable to him. He wanted t
o tell her she was the most impressive, sweetest, kindest woman he’d ever known.

  He wanted to tell her he loved her. There was no doubt in his mind.

  Instead, he cradled her head in his hand to keep it from the hard wood, and told her what she’d once said to him. “Let me take it away.”

  Tears brimmed on her lashes, and she nodded. “Please,” she begged. She wanted the pain gone. She wanted the hurt healed, and he could do that for her like she’d been doing for him.

  With no other house for miles, and trees covering the shores banks, there was no one but the wildlife around to see them under the darkness of night, only the moonlight revealing them. The lake made a hushed splashing sound as it lapped on the edges of the dock, which was plenty wide enough for the both of them and then some. Stars covered the sky above them, and their reflection twinkled in her emerald eyes when she looked up at him.

  His mouth met hers again and his hand slid between their bodies, finding the hem of her shirt and pulling it up. She assisted him in shimmying it over her head and tossing it onto the dock behind them, while doing the same with his shirt. She was just as quick to unclasp her bra, and it joined their shirts seconds later.

  His lips left small kisses over her cheek and up to her ear, where he tugged her lobe into his mouth, breathing gently against it until she shivered beneath him. Trailing his tongue down her neck, he slid down her body until he’d reached her breasts. She arched her back, her breath catching in her throat when he finally took one of her nipples in his mouth.

  Flicking his tongue over its tip, she cried out, and her hands gripped his shoulders. His free hand played with the other, rolling it gently between his thumb and index finger before giving it a small tug. Letting go, he pushed up on his knees and she grabbed at his belt buckle, urging it off.

  Chuckling, he helped her unfasten his jeans. “Someone’s in a hurry,” he teased.

  “God, yes,” she said, sitting up and pushing his jeans down far enough to release his manhood. Gripping him in her hand, she slid her fist up and down his length, eliciting a deep growl from his chest at the sensation.

  Miles reached into his pocket and pulled out a foil wrapper. She took it from him, rolling the protection over his length. He pushed into her hands, and she stroked him. He pushed her skirt farther up her legs until it was bunched around her waist, smiling when he remembered her panties were still tucked in the pocket of his jeans.

  She grinned mischievously at him, wiggling her hips as she lay back down in front of him, her knees clutching either side of his hip as he kneeled between her legs.

  Still kneeling, he pressed a finger to her slit, sliding up its length until he touched her clit and pinched it between his fingers. Her hips bucked off the dock, but he placed his other hand on top of her lower stomach, keeping her in place. His hand was so large, it stretched across most of her pelvis and he let his thumb move just south enough to replace his other hand on her clit.

  He rubbed circles with his thumb, then light rhythmic tapping, then harder presses and pinches until she was writhing beneath him. His other hand moved to his dick, and he stroked himself as he watched moisture pool between her legs in response to his touch.

  “Miles, please,” she gasped, her breath coming in short, shallow pulls. “I need you.”

  He let go of himself, but continued playing with her clit as he leaned down over her and kissed her lips. She greedily accepted his tongue as she moaned around his intrusion. When he pulled away his hand, she whined in complaint.

  “Tell me what you want, cricket,” he whispered against her lips as he pushed the tip of his dick against her entrance, sliding it up and down as her wetness coated him. “Tell me exactly.”

  Her bright green eyes flew open as she searched his, a nervousness in the way she nibbled on her bottom lip.

  “Tonight’s about you, Zoe. This is yours—I’m yours,” he told her, meaning every word. “Tell me what you want me to do.”

  She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him, parting after a moment to whisper back to him. “I want you inside me. Fuck me, Miles.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” He grinned and gripped her hips, sliding himself into her as deep as he could as she cried out. Miles left small kisses on her naked shoulder as she buried her face into his neck, clinging to him like she’d fall apart if he let go. “I’d do anything for you, cricket.”

  He pumped his hips against her, and she raised hers to meet him as skin pressed against skin and his body began to tighten. She was so warm and slick, fitting around him like he’d always been meant to be there. She kissed him with such abandon, such confidence, their tongues at war with one another, that he wasn’t sure he’d ever breathe again—or that he even wanted to.

  The way she arched her back to press her breasts against him, the tremble in her knees clutching either side of his hips, the way she sucked air into her lungs, releasing it in tiny, seductive gasps—it was heaven, and he knew right there and then on this lakeside dock, he loved this woman.

  He trailed his tongue over her neck, pulling her skin gently into his mouth and leaving small marks on the way down. Dipping his head, he saw her nipples pushed out, begging for his attention. Devouring her, he slid his tongue across the sensitive bud again and again before sucking it into his mouth as she gripped the back of his head and urged him on.

  His hips pumped furiously against her as he felt her shudder and break open, crying out as she shook against him, her orgasm overtaking her. He didn’t stop—he couldn’t stop—as he feasted on her breasts and slammed into her core until his own orgasm overpowered him and he growled against her skin as she shook with aftershocks of her own.

  The water splashing against the dock, and the squeaks of the tree frogs were soon the only noise around them as he fell to her side, and they both lay on the dock, staring at the stars.

  And that was when the realization hit him.

  The secrets he held…he was no better than her ex.

  20

  “Holy shit, that is so hot,” Arienne gasped, her hand on her throat as she stared wide-eyed at Zoe across the café table. “On the dock? Just booty out for all to see?”

  Zoe snickered, hiding her smile behind her mug as she took another sip of coffee. “No one saw—except maybe some fish. There’s no one around for miles.”

  “What if his dad looked out the window?”

  Zoe shook her head. “Nah, once he’s asleep, he’s lights out. Plus, there’s a ton of trees between the house and the lake. You can’t see the dock from that angle.”

  “Damn, girl.” Arienne shook her head in disbelief. “I’m insanely jealous, but when Mollie finds out about the Ferris wheel, ooh she’s going to be mad. She took her kids on that!”

  Zoe’s head tipped back as she laughed raucously at the thought. “I’m definitely not telling her!”

  “I can’t believe no one saw you there either,” Arienne exclaimed. “When did you become such a fiend? I thought I was the wild one of this group.”

  “I have no idea,” Zoe replied. “I’ve never felt like this in my whole life.”

  Arienne arched a brow. “Oh, really?”

  “Why do you say it like that?” Zoe felt heat rising in her cheeks at Arienne’s exaggerated lilt in her tone.

  “Because, darling, it sounds like you’re in loooooove!”

  “I’ve only known the man for two months, Arienne.” Zoe huffed, putting her mug down on the table with a thud. “We’re just dating.”

  Arienne rolled her eyes. “Oh, please. You had such a crush on him in high school, and now you live together. When you see someone every single day for two months—that’s like 60 dates! You should be married by now.”

  Zoe laughed and shook her head.

  “Who should be married by now?” Mollie asked as she plopped down in the open chair they’d left for her, dropping her giant purse on the table and exhaling loudly. She pointed at the extra mug full of coffee in front of them. “Is that for me?” />
  “Yep,” Arienne confirmed, pushing it toward her. “And Zoe’s getting married.”

  Mollie had barely swallowed her first sip of coffee when she squawked. “What! You’re getting married?”

  “Oh my God! Ladies, be quiet.” Zoe glanced around the café, praying no one in town heard them and then congratulated Miles on his upcoming wedding. He’d think she was absolutely nuts.

  “I am not getting married,” she argued, her voice hushed.

  “Well, Zoe is in love,” Arienne added. “Like puppy-dog eyes, head-over-heels for Mr. Marine.”

  Zoe rolled her eyes.

  “Aw,” Mollie cooed. “That’s so cute! About time, too.”

  “About time for what?” Zoe frowned, her finger swirling the edge of her mug. “It hasn’t been that long.”

  “Babe, you’ve been divorced for over a year and separated for two,” Mollie informed her. “It was about time you started having freaky sex all over town. By the way, I took my kids on that Ferris wheel. Thanks a lot.”

  Arienne laughed, her shoulders shaking. Zoe looked bewildered at Arienne, then Mollie before Mollie finally explained. “Oh, she texted it to me on my way in.”

  “You bitch.” Zoe shot Arienne the evil eye.

  “Sorry.” Arienne shrugged. “We don’t keep secrets.”

  “You’re a good friend,” Mollie said to Arienne, patting her on the shoulder.

  Zoe’s lips twitched and she finally laughed. “You two are the worst.”

  “But you love us,” Arienne said in a sing-song tone.

  “Anywaaaaaays,” Zoe continued with exaggeration. “Can we stop talking about sex long enough to focus on the problem at hand?”

  “Oh, right.” Arienne nodded. “So, what’s wrong with Angry McSexy?”

  Zoe ignored her remark and continued. “The dock thing was last Saturday—it’s Friday now. He’s maybe said two words to me all week, if I’ve even seen him at all. He’s not even staying at the house, something about traveling for work, but even his dad doesn’t know where he is.”