Not A Hero: A Bad Boy Marine Romance Read online

  This was the scout! Gina’s father is the scout?

  “Oh, wow, Mr. Vile, it’s an honor to meet you. I’m sorry, I didn’t know the name of who would be coming from the label! I’m honored you liked the show!” Logan gushed and tried to restrain himself, but his excitement was pulsing through him rapidly.

  “We like to keep a low profile until we hear a singer perform in person. Recordings never do justice to the real talent, nor do they show stage presence. Logan, you not only have exceptional talent, but you owned the stage and the crowd. That’s the sign of a true star in the making. I want you to come to New York in two weeks and play for the higher level execs. Here is my card, set it up with my assistant.” Garret handed him a small business card and patted him on the shoulder, enjoying the shocked look still on Logan’s face.

  “I’m going to take you places, son. Seems my little girl has a bit of a thing for you though. Have to put on my dad cap when I tell you not to hurt her. Understood?” Garrett stepped in closer to Logan and his voice got lower.

  “Oh, of course. We just met tonight. There isn’t anything going on,” Logan fumbled on his words, not sure if he was lying or not because he still had no idea what was going on.

  “I will see you in two weeks then.” Garrett stepped back and the smile returned to his face.

  “Yes, sir! I can’t wait to tell the guys! They are going to be so excited!” Logan clamored, still staring at Garrett’s business card like it was his golden ticket. Garrett’s frame suddenly froze and Logan looked up at him to see why.

  “Logan, uhm, this offer is just for you. Don’t bring Haven,” Garrett said, a bit uncomfortably.

  Logan blinked in surprise and looked toward the stage where his friends were still packing away equipment.

  “Mr. Vile, sir, we have always played together. I was under the impression it was for us as a band. For Haven. I don’t think I can just leave. They are really good, and they’re also my friends,” Logan stammered, conflicted.

  “You’re right, they are good. But, Logan, you are great. I only deal in great. And you can call me Garrett.” He patted his shoulder, trying to ease the blow, knowing this was never a fun part of his job in the music business.

  “I am going to have to think about this, sir, I mean Garrett.” Logan shifted his weight from one foot to the other and pocketed the business card.

  “Well, the offer expires in two weeks. You are either there or you are not. I won’t be coming back again. Make the right choice for you, Logan. Not for Haven.” Garrett finished with a nod and then turned and walked away, leaving the bar.

  Logan continued to stand there even after Garrett had left, unsure of what to do or what to say to his friends. Gina waltzed up to him and slipped her hands around his waist, standing in front of him.

  “My dad just offered you a chance at fame, but you look miserable,” she stated, staring at his face in confusion. He looked down at her, finally realizing that she was there as she continued. “Why?”

  “It’s nothing, I just have a lot of decisions to make,” he said, his voice trailing off as he was lost in thought.

  Gina stood up on the tips of her toes and brushed her lips against his jaw, running up toward his ear. “How about we get out of here and you let me make the decisions tonight?”

  The instant flame that cut through his body brought him back to attention and he looked down into her dark, green eyes that were thick with desire. He just smiled back at her and let her take his hand, heading out of the bar. He wasn’t ready to talk to his friends, and he couldn’t even say goodbye without them knowing something was off.

  Gina had just given him the out he needed. At least for tonight.

  ***

  Gina’s back slammed against the door as Logan’s mouth crushed down on hers, feeding on her desire and excitement. She was unsuccessfully fumbling with her keys in the locked door to her apartment, so Logan just grabbed them from her and slid it in himself. She wrapped both her arms around his neck and with a slight bounce, her legs were around his waist as he held her with one arm around her, supporting her bottom.

  The door fell open behind them and Logan just tossed the keys randomly into the apartment, hearing them hit the floor somewhere. He wrapped both his arms tightly around her, pressing her as close to him as possible. He relished the feeling of her legs wrapped around him, leaving his member prodding at the edge of her skirt. With one fierce kick, the door slammed shut behind them with a resounding thud.

  “Bedroom?” he asked, between kisses, trying to catch his breath.

  She pointed toward a hallway to their right and he immediately charged in that direction, entering her bedroom only a few seconds later.

  Her bed was in the center of the room and was at least queen size, if not bigger, and covered in a plush brown comforter. Logan grabbed her waist with both hands and pried her off of him, causing her to whine at the sudden loss of contact. As if she were light as a feather, Logan’s strong arms tossed her onto the bed. She fell on her back, giggling at the display of strength. All the heavy lifting at work was certainly paying off.

  He didn’t leave her alone for long, quickly undoing his belt and stepping out of his pants, he pulled his shirt over his head and climbed over her now completely nude. Her eyes were wide as she took in the sight of his muscular, toned body. He quickly captivated her mouth again with his and hooked his thumb into the waist band of her skirt, ripping it off with one pull and throwing it off the bed. He sat up slightly to grab her shirt and slip it over her head, leaving her in only her matching black lace bra and panties.

  “Fuck, woman, what are you getting me into?” he growled at her as his eyes raked her almost naked body.

  She smiled at him and crooked her finger, motioning for him to come to her. He was happy to oblige and quickly pounced on her awaiting, trembling figure.

  It had been awhile since Logan had paid any attention to women, so seeing Gina’s beautiful body beneath him was a feast he was gorging himself on. He knew he wanted to take his time, but he also couldn’t wait. He didn’t understand what it was about this woman that grabbed his attention and sucked him in like a drug, but he was hooked. He would admit it right then and there, he wanted Gina, and he wanted all of her.

  5

  Logan slowly pulled his arm out from under Gina’s back, causing her to moan slightly in her sleep. He froze to listen for signs of waking, but she was still snoring lightly with her head tucked into the pillow.

  Finally untangling himself from her, he crawled out of bed and searched in the dark for his clothes. Finding his boxers, he yanked them on quickly and searched for his shirt and pants. A minute or two later, he was fully dressed and sneaking out her front door, quietly closing it behind him.

  It was almost three in the morning, which meant he had to go to work. He felt conflicted on what to do. He wasn’t that jerk player type who left a woman alone in bed, but he couldn’t afford to miss a day of work. The truth was he didn’t know what to say to her.

  Last night had been amazing and he wasn’t sure if it was from riding the high of his performance on stage or the intoxication he felt when Gina was around him. In less than twenty-four hours, his entire life had been turned upside down and he was letting a woman actually get in his head.

  He cranked up the air conditioning in his car as he backed out of the parking spot and headed off to the warehouse. He’d actually be on time tonight, which was ironic considering how busy his night had been. There was no need for a caffeine fix though, since his adrenaline was still coursing proudly through his veins. The physical labor part of the job worried him a bit, since he was pretty sure what he and Gina had just done equated to several hours at the gym.

  He couldn’t help smiling at the memory though, remembering the feeling of her silky skin against his and the tremors that coursed through her body because of him. For a woman so obstinate and controlling, she relinquished a lot of her power in the bedroom and allowed Logan to take charge, a
role he was more than willing to fill.

  He was still daydreaming about their nighttime acrobatics when he pulled up to his normal parking space at the warehouse and grabbed his shirt and brace from the backseat of his car. He glanced down at his phone briefly considering texting her, no doubt Gina was still sleeping since the moon was still high over his head. He finally decided to shoot her a quick message to let her know he’d had to go to work, and hadn’t just bailed on her.

  “Logan, what the fuck are you doing here?” Joey asked, glancing up from his magazine, while propping his feet up on the warehouse counter.

  “What do you mean? I’m scheduled to work tonight,” Logan shot back, punching his time card in. He and Joey would never get along, but they did enjoy cracking on one another.

  “I know, but damn, you’re on time today.” Joey chuckled and went back to looking at his magazine.

  “Don’t get used to it,” Logan said, then walked into the open part of the warehouse ready for a long shift of heavy work.

  Maybe one day, I won’t need a job like this.

  Logan thought briefly about the offer awaiting him in New York City, but then quickly pushed the thought from his mind. He couldn’t deal with the conflicted emotions around that right now.

  ***

  Almost dinner time, Logan could feel his stomach growling as he walked into his house after his shift ended. There was a strong, meaty aroma that hit him instantly and he practically floated toward the kitchen breathing it in like a life line. His father was standing over the stove, stirring up some freshly cooked beef stew. Mickey glanced at his son, saw the exhaustion on his face, and nodded his head to his boy. Clay men didn’t need to talk about their emotions, that just wasn’t done, but he was proud of him. The tired aching after a long day was a reward for a hard work in Mickey’s eyes, the example of a life well lived. Clay men didn’t do lazy.

  “Beer’s in the fridge,” he grunted at his son who gratefully swung open the door and popped the lid to an amber ale, chugging it down quickly.

  The cool sensation sliding down Logan’s throat was an amazing contrast to a twelve hour shift in the heat.

  “Where’s Mom?” Logan asked after a lengthy gulp and satisfied sigh, wiping his lips with his thumb.

  “Upstairs brushing her hair, she just finished bathing. Can you bring her down to dinner?” Mickey asked Logan as he portioned beef stew into bowls on top of rice.

  Logan just nodded and headed out of the kitchen, taking the adjourning staircase two steps at a time and heading down the hallway to the last door.

  “Mom?” Logan tapped on the door with his knuckles and walked in.

  Laura Clay was sitting at her makeup table, looking in the mirror at herself, and brushing her hair. She clearly was deep in thought and had not been expecting him. There were tears slowly working their way down her cheeks.

  “Logan! Oh, is dinner ready?” she asked him, attempting to be nonchalant and quickly covering her face to remove any evidence of her tears.

  Logan wasn’t so easily fooled and was by her side in a few quick steps. He didn’t say anything, just bent down on his knees and looked at her, his hand on her arm. Laura gazed at her son and couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across her face.

  “Look at my boy. So handsome. So tired.” His mother cupped his chin in her hand and lovingly tilted her head to the side as she surveyed her son.

  “I’m a burden to you, baby boy,” she said quietly after a moment of silence, looking at the darkening circles below his eyes.

  He had a way of making her open up without saying anything, his eyes were the key to her soul and had been since the first moment she held him in her arms a quarter of a century ago.

  “Momma, that never has been, and never will be, true,” Logan spoke with conviction and she smiled, her heart expanding with love for her son.

  “You ready for dinner, Mom?” Logan said, standing back up, having eased her worries. She put down her hairbrush on the table and took a tissue to dab below her eyes so Mickey wouldn’t know she had been crying.

  “Yep, I’ve been smelling it from up here. I’m famished!” She grinned at her son, her mood lifting.

  He nodded in agreement and bent down, sliding one hand behind her back and another behind her knees, scooping his mother into his arms and holding her firmly against his chest. She had always had a very small frame, so carrying her was not taxing in the slightest.

  “Thank you, Logan,” Laura said softly, looking at her son while her arms were wrapped around his neck for support.

  “It’s nothing, Momma. Easier than setting up the wheel chair and all that,” he said to her with a wink and a smile, as he carried her down the stairs to dinner.

  She hugged his neck tighter.

  “It’s everything,” she replied so softly Logan almost didn’t hear her.

  With those words and the earlier witness of her tears, Logan silently made a new conviction that he would go to New York no matter what.

  He had to do this for her.

  6

  Monday morning came and with it went the flurry of Friday night excitement, Logan groaned in pain as he lifted a particularly heavy box and piled it into the corner of an eighteen wheeler then headed back out onto the warehouse platform to collect more. Logan only had Sundays off and he had spent all of yesterday at home asleep or with his parents.

  His mother had had a particularly painful day, so he had played his guitar and sung to her as she laid on the couch cuddled against his father. Laura loved his music- anything that gave her time with her son. She had laid there, watching him with total adoration.

  Mickey had never been a huge fan of music. He was gruff and loved contact sports, anything that was physical, hard work, and could toughen a man by beating him down. That was how Mickey’s father had raised him and it was a philosophy he had stood by all his life until he had met his soft and sweet wife.

  Then the accident happened while Logan was still so young, and every bit of the Laura he loved disappeared with her ability to walk. For so long, a depression resided over the house, with all attempts to remedy it falling short.

  When their son first showed an interest in music a year or so later, Mickey encouraged it because those were Laura’s genes shining in his son and he couldn’t think of a single problem with that. He had so desperately missed that light in Laura’s eyes and now they were glowing through Logan’s.

  So, Mickey learned some basic guitar chords and taught them to his son and he worked extra shifts to afford music books and a ratty old acoustic guitar purchased at a yard sale. Like a moth to a flame, music suddenly became the epicenter of their household.

  Logan played from the moment he got home from school until it was time for bed and as time went on, Laura would ask more and more for Logan to come play for her. Without even realizing it, the music became tradition in their household. After dinner, his parents could gather in the living room and Mickey would softly caress his wife’s hair as she leaned against him, the first signs of affection and happiness that she had shown since the accident.

  At first they would critique Logan and help him improve, encouraging him to try more challenging pieces, but as he entered his late teen years they only needed to listen. He was brilliant and the music calmed Laura in a way that no other music could. Her chronic pain subsided and her insecurities took a back seat.

  All that mattered was her son and how much he loved her through his songs. On the days where her pain was higher than usual, he would sit cross-legged on her bed and sing to her while playing the old acoustic guitar.

  Logan thought of yesterday as he was loading another box and worry flooded his stomach, like a brick weighing him down. Days like yesterday were happening much more frequently than before. He tried to get answers out of his father after every doctor appointment, but Mickey said nothing except that everything would be fine. But everything was not fine, and Logan could sense it in every fiber of his being.

  Doct
or visits were closer together now, her pain was more intense, and her energy lower. Mickey could live in denial all he wanted, but Logan knew that things were getting worse after over a decade of paralysis.

  Logan was working a longer than normal shift today and would miss dinner since he needed the extra income. He was the one who paid the bills and balanced the check book. With all the extra doctor visits and increased medications, it seemed the amount going out far was far higher than the amount coming in. He needed to go to New York. He knew he had no choice.

  How do I tell the guys? How do I break up Haven for good? Logan thought as he stretched and walked over to the water fountain for a cool refresher.

  He had been dodging their calls and had left his phone at home to give himself an excuse for why he wasn’t’ responding. He knew he had to see them at some point, so he planned on texting them once he got home to meet him at McGinny’s later on. He had to face the music at some point.

  ***

  McGinny’s looked desolate on a Monday night and only a few dedicated alcoholics filled one corner table and a few stools at the bar. It didn’t faze Logan in the least as he walked in and headed to the far end of the bar, away from the other patrons. He wanted the privacy tonight anyway.

  A scruffy, middle aged bartender walked over to Logan’s stool after a few minutes and poured him a Guinness without even asking. Logan nodded appreciatively at the gentleman, gathering that his face was probably easy to read tonight.

  A gust of warm air swept through the bar as the front door opened and Dylan, Rock, and Charlie plodded in looking tired from their own Monday work shifts. Logan quickly downed the rest of his beer for an extra shot of courage and waved them over.