Not A Hero: A Bad Boy Marine Romance Page 20

  She crossed her arms over her chest, but he could see the anger had melted from her. “Now, I’m all jittery and shivering. Thanks for that.”

  “Want to go back to the house and warm up?” Miles asked.

  Her eyes widened, and one brow lifted higher than the other as she stared back at him.

  “I meant, like, for some tea or hot chocolate or something,” he quickly added, realizing what she must have been thinking. Then, he smirked, because now he was thinking that, too. “Unless you can think of another way to warm up.”

  “Hot chocolate sounds good,” she said, heading for the path toward her car.

  He tried not to smile at the casual way she responded, despite the fact less than three days ago, they’d been wrapped around each other naked. “Hot chocolate it is, then.”

  This is most definitely a mistake. Zoe parked her car in front of Miles’s house and climbed out.

  The Camaro slid in next to her, and Miles cut the engine. He popped open the door and stepped out, and when his smoldering eyes fixed on her, Zoe’s mind went blank. She wanted to find her anger, her self-righteousness, or ever her sadness and pity at everything this man had experienced…but she couldn’t find any of it.

  Instead, she just saw a man standing in front of her, waiting for her to come inside. A man she loved, a man she admired, and a man who had done things to her body that made it very hard to see him and not remember how he looked between her legs.

  Zoe swallowed and followed him inside, trying to keep an air on disinterest about her because there was no way in hell after everything he put her through she’d be the first one to make a move.

  At this point, a stranger would probably tell her to run for the hills from this guy, but she knew in her soul he was good and together, they were even better—but that didn’t mean she was about to offer her heart up on a platter for the third time in a row either.

  “I’ll get the water started,” he told her, pulling a saucepan from the cupboard.

  “Miles, you live here,” she said with a chuckle, walking over to a cupboard, pulling out two hot chocolate-filled pods and inserting the first one into the coffee machine. “You should know how to use your own coffee machine.”

  He laughed. “Well, all right, I’ll get the mugs then.”

  A moment later, he handed her a mug that had been her absolute favorite while she lived here. It said zero [picture of a fox] given—a play on words, or in this case, a fox photo which was supposed to mean zero fucks given. She grinned as she positioned it under the machine. “Thanks.”

  “I still think that mug is ridiculous,” he told her, holding a bland green mug with nothing funny on it at all.

  “I’ll refer you to the mug for my opinion on your opinion.”

  He laughed, deeper and louder this time. “Touché, Zo.”

  She took the green mug from his hands and placed it on the machine after hers had been filled, putting a new pod in the top for his. Holding her mug up to her nose, she sniffed it with a low moan. God, the smell of chocolate could cure anything. “This is perfect tonight.”

  “Yeah,” he agreed, taking his now-full mug off the machine and sipping it.

  She sipped hers as well, eyeing him carefully over the rim of the mug. “So, how did you know I was down there?” she finally asked.

  He licked some creamy hot chocolate from his lips and cleared his throat. “I actually went to Mollie’s. We couldn’t find you, and I guessed you’d come here.”

  “Oops, I should probably let her know where I am,” she said with a frown. “I thought I’d be back before she woke up.”

  “I already told her I found you,” he replied.

  Zoe eyed him again, wondering why it sounded like he was in cahoots with her best friend now. “Well, thanks, I guess.”

  He took another sip of his drink, leaning back against the kitchen wall, one foot propped on it. “You look weirded out.”

  She put her mug down on the counter next to her and sighed. “Miles, what are you doing tracking me down at midnight, only three days after kicking me out of here?”

  Placing his mug down on the counter closest to him, he turned to her and closed the gap between them in a few long strides.

  The breath escaped her lungs at his sudden approach, and she stepped back, her calves hitting the cabinet door behind her. His eyes were the darkest she’d ever seen them, and the way his jaw was set made her shiver.

  His hands were on her face almost immediately, cradling her in his palms as he pushed his hips against hers, pinning her to the counter. Despite his fast approach, now he moved slowly—staring into her eyes, talking to her without saying a thing, before he dropped his lips to hers.

  The ache in her core she felt anytime he was around suddenly burst into flames, and she moaned against his mouth. He gave a small chuckle, and she blushed knowing she’d given herself away.

  “God, I’ve missed that sound,” he said, his hips moving against hers in a way that made her knees unsteady for all the right reasons.

  “Miles,” she started, trying to catch both her breath and her mind. “What are we doing?”

  Miles’s hands slid down her neck to her shoulders, then he wrapped his arms around her back and hugged her to him. He kissed the top of her head as she lay hers against his chest, her arms loosely around his waist. “Zo, I made a huge mistake, and I regret every second of it.”

  “I told you you would.”

  He chuckled, and she felt the vibrations in his chest beneath her cheek. “I should listen to you more often.”

  “I’ve also told you that,” she agreed, the corners of her lips tipping into a smile.

  Reaching down, he cupped his hands under her ass and lifted her until she was sitting on the counter.

  “Hey!”

  “I want to look you in the eyes when I tell you this,” he said, not pausing for a minute to let her be surprised at the sudden movement.

  She swallowed hard, her hands on his chest, as she nodded. “Okay.”

  He looked down at her lap, his palms flat on the counter on either side of her. Slowly, he lifted his eyes back to hers. “I know I already told you this, but I tossed it at you like a grenade. I didn’t explain, or tell you everything, and you deserve to know the full story.”

  He took a deep breath, his lungs expanding his chest beneath her palms. The look of pain and discomfort on his face pierced her heart, and she placed her hands on his shoulders, squeezing lightly.

  “Tobin told me about the child soldier,” she admitted, guessing that was what he’d started to tell her days ago and now wanted to explain fully.

  Relief flooded his face as his shoulders slumped. “He did?”

  Zoe nodded. “Yeah, days ago.”

  “And you still came here? You still let me kiss you?”

  “Well,” Zoe started with a slight chuckle. “In my defense, I didn’t have a ton of warning on the kissing part.”

  The corners of his lips twitched into a smile.

  “You don’t scare me, Miles.” She placed her hand flat on his chest right over his heart. “I know what’s in here. The rest is just shitty luck.”

  “Fuck,” he said, dropping his head forward until he was resting against her shoulder, buried into her neck “I can’t understand why you’re so good to me. I’ve been nothing but awful to you. When you told me about everything you’d been through, I thought I’d be the last person you’d ever want to be with after what I’ve done.”

  “The two aren’t even comparable, Miles—and you know that.” She lifted his chin until he was eye level with her again. The way he was leaning into her, it was really hard to concentrate on anything other than the fact that he was standing between her legs. “I don’t see you like I saw him at all—nor should I. You’re a good person, Miles. You went through some bad things. You’re a hero to me, and you always have been. I just can’t keep trying to convince you of that.”

  His eyes traveled down to her lips before slowly re
turning back to her eyes. “I love how you see me, Zoe. I love how you make me feel hopeful, like I’m not the sum of my actions of late. I love how you accept me for who I am, and still love me anyway.”

  Love, the word made her stomach flip-flop with excitement. She ran her finger from his temple down his cheek until she slid her hands back around his neck. “I never said I love you, you know.”

  “You did, just not with words.” His mouth found hers again and she molded her lips to his.

  Miles’s hands pressed down to her ass again, pulling her to the edge of the counter until her core was pressed right against the front of his jeans. The bulge was unmistakable, and she couldn’t stop herself from rocking back and forth against him, wanting him, needing him to take her right here and now.

  “God, Zoe, I’ve been so stupid. I’m so, so sorry for everything I’ve done,” he said with a groan against her ear as he nipped at her neck, his hands moving up her waist to cup her breasts. “Move back in here with me—be with me. Don’t let me push you away again. I’m getting help, and I’m going to do everything I can to be the best man I can be, not only for you, but for myself, too.”

  “Miles,” she started, panting at the way his fingers dragged across her nipples, even with her shirt between them.

  “Please, cricket,” he begged again, cutting her off from protesting. “I need you here, not to help me or take care of me, but to be mine. Be with me because I love you, too, and I can’t go one more day without telling you that. I can’t promise it will be easy, and I can’t promise I won’t keep fucking things up, but I can promise I’m going to love you for as long as you’ll let me, and then forever after that.”

  A lump formed in her throat at his words—the words she’d been wanting to hear from him since she was in high school and crushing on the quarterback. Despite everything they’d been through and the hurts he’d caused her, something in her felt different with him than it had with any other person ever.

  He felt like her other half. Like being pressed together now was the only way to keep breathing, the only way to feel whole. He was a part of her spirit and there was nothing he could do to push her away, because he’d never leave her heart.

  “I love you, too.” She kissed him gently, slowly, passionately, and whispered I-love-you against his lips again and again, while he whispered the same thing back until neither one of them could stand another moment not being joined.

  His hands found the hem of her shirt, and he slid the garment over her head. As he tossed the shirt aside, she unclasped her bra and let it fall to the floor. Her fingers then flew to his jeans, unbuttoning them, while he yanked his own shirt off, too.

  He pushed her skirt up her legs until it was around her waist, dipping a finger inside her panties and sliding them down her leg as she lifted herself ever so slightly to help him.

  His mouth on hers, and she feverishly kissed him, tongues clashing as her hands slid across his bare chest. Every muscle, every line, carved just for her as she moved south. Wrapping one hand around his dick, she released him from his boxers, pushing his jeans lower on his hips.

  He groaned against her mouth at the contact, thrusting his pelvis farther into her hand. She held his tip against her core and slid him up and down, coating him with how badly she wanted him.

  “Wait,” he said, frustration in his voice as he took a step back, sliding out of her hands. “I need to grab some protection.”

  Zoe frowned. “Do we have to? I mean, are you clean?”

  “Yeah, I am.” His eyes widened, his tongue sliding out across his lower lip.

  “Well, so am I.”

  He was pressed against her again in seconds, positioning himself at her center. “Are you sure about this, Zoe? Because, I don’t think I can wait another second to fuck you.”

  “So sure,” she said, rocking her hips forward because she didn’t want to wait either. “Please, Miles. Now, I need you now.”

  He pressed his mouth against her ear as he held her hips and pushed inside her. “This is forever for me, Zoe. I love you. Be forever for me.”

  She moaned, holding tighter to his neck as she adjusted to his length. She pushed her hips forward in rhythm as he thrust in and out of her against the kitchen counter, her ankles locked behind his ass.

  His words took a moment to register, but when they did, her heart pounded in her chest and took his face in her hands. Dropping soft, small kisses at the corners of his lips, she nodded.

  “Okay,” she agreed, because that’s all she could say right now when her whole body felt like it was going to explode, her heart right along with it.

  “Yeah?” he asked, capturing her lips with his and kissing with a hunger she felt in her stomach. One of his hands slid between them as he pressed against her clit, drawing circles that made her vision go screwy as she folded forward into him, letting him hold most of her weight as he continued thrusting inside her. “Marry me, Zoe. Marry me really fucking soon.”

  “Miles!” she said with a squeak as the beginnings of her climax made her legs tremble.

  “I’m not kidding, Zoe,” he said, carefully looking in her eyes without slowing down for even a second. “I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life. You’re it for me, you always were. Marry me.”

  His thumb pushed harder against her clit and she shook as she smiled and dropped her lips to his, her climax ripping through her as she felt him exploding inside her.

  Her heart burst in the same moment, love overwhelming her as she kissed the man of her dreams. “Okay.”

  Epilogue

  Four years later

  “We can make it! We can make it in time!” Eyes wild, he looked around for the nearest vehicle in hopes of speeding up their progress.

  “Miles, man, he’s gone.” Tobin looked down at the young boy in his arms, blood dripping down his sides. “Look at him, Miles. He’s gone.”

  Something between a sob and a wail ran up Miles’s throat of its own accord, and he grabbed the boy from Tobin’s arms. Hitting the dirt ground below them hard, he ran with everything he had for the medics tent two miles away.

  He just kept running. “It’s going to be okay, kid. They’re going to help you there.”

  Silence.

  “Baby.” Sweet whispers touched his ears, a soft caress against his cheek. “Miles, it’s me, baby. Wake up.”

  His eyes flew open and he reached for her, a need driving him as he wrapped his arms around her back and pulled her to him underneath the blankets. Burying his face in her blond curls, he inhaled until his lungs were completely full, then breathed it all out slowly. Her hands caressed the back of his head, comforting him as he slowly came back down from the impact of his memory.

  They came much less frequent now than when he’d left the Marines four years ago, but when they did come, he needed her. He needed her there beside him to walk him through it, and she’d never failed once.

  “Which one was this?” she whispered against his cheek, dropping soft kisses against his stubbled jaw.

  “Running with him to the medic’s tent,” he admitted, his hands squeezing tighter around her before he began kissing down her neck and to her collarbone.

  “It’ll be okay,” she assured him, still rubbing the back of his head. “What can I do to help?”

  “Just be here with me, cricket.” He pushed the edges of her tank top down lower and lower as he kissed down toward her breasts. “You’re everything I need, Zoe. You always will be.”

  She beamed at him, pulling him back to her level and kissing him. “Then take what you need.”

  A deep chuckle rose in his throat as he shook his head in amazement at how lucky he was to be married to the woman of his dreams. Miles dipped his head down, devouring her mouth, hungry and wanting, growling against her as his hand moved down her body.

  He pressed his fingers under the hem of her pajamas and panties, sliding between her legs. Their mouths never separated as her tongue slid between his lips and his f
ingers between her folds. Miles groaned as he felt how wet she was, and how she bucked her hips toward him, widening her legs even more to give him everything he wanted.

  “Hell, Zoe, you’re already so wet.”

  “Have you seen who I’m married to?” she teased, pushing up on her knees and pressing on his chest until he was lying back on the bed.

  She straddled his waist before moving lower down his body, until she was kneeling over her tented boxers. Pulling down the top, his dick sprang out and she leaned down to kiss the tip.

  Miles watched her, barely blinking for fear he’d miss a single, glorious moment of her sucking him between her pretty pink lips. He lifted his hips, and she responded, wrapping a hand around the base and pumping up and down as she took the rest of him in her mouth.

  The warm, wet sensation was almost too much, and he groaned as he pushed his hips tighter against her. Moving on top of him, alternating between licking and sucking, she reached a hand to find his. Grabbing his hand, she put it on the back of her head.

  He nearly came right then and there. She wanted him to be in charge, and damn, he loved it. Pushing down on her head, he pressed himself deeper into her mouth and she let go of the base of his dick. This time, he felt the back of her throat and he nearly exploded then and there.

  “Babe, is this okay?” he asked, wanting so badly for it to be because this was heaven—pure fucking heaven.

  She nodded, his dick still in her mouth, and when he glanced down, her smile was unmistakable.

  “If it’s what the lady wants,” he said with a slight laugh as he pumped in and out of her mouth again and again until he was sure he’d explode. “Oh shit, Zoe, I’m going to come.”

  Her hands scooted under his ass, clenching his cheeks as she took him deeper and sucked hard. His fingers twisting in her hair, he shook and trembled as his climax crashed over him and he let go down her throat.

  “Come here,” he growled, motioning with his finger for her to come closer.